Two Choices for the Undead
By Breanne Joseph
The light around him became dimmer the further he sank. The current drew him deeper and deeper into the ocean. And all he could do was watch, eyes frozen by the cold water around him. A true sailor was supposed to die at sea. That is what his friends told him before he joined the crew of The Scarlet Lily. They had joked in those golden days long gone, about how Jamie would end up as one of the lost ones. Lost ones where the sailors became lost on the first voyage out at sea, never to return to land and family. Fully belonging to the sea in body and soul.
Jamie wondered where his friends were now, wondered if they would soon face the same storm his ship had the misfortune to meet. When they were all young men, Jamie’s friends had joined other shipping crews but all the ships came to the same port so they could see each other and grab a drink at the local pub when the ships came in. They were bonded by the hardship of growing up in a seaside city and were determined to stick together.
His lungs stopped burning for air hours ago. The need for air was now replaced by the weight of the sea. He watched the few air bubbles that were hidden in his body abandon him for the bright surface. The surface wanted nothing to do with poor Jamie now; he belonged to the sea. His home would now be the bottom of the sea, resting on the rocky bottom and being sustenance for the bottom dwellers.
He never knew how dark the sea could be. It reminded him vaguely of the night sky devoid of stars, clouds, and the inconstant moon. But this darkness he was embraced by did not fill him with the awe and kindness that was reserved for God’s creations. This darkness removed all of humanity’s light and presence, leaving a darkness that had only been seen when the world was still new.
Eventually he reached what he thought was the sea floor. A hard, rocky surface met his boots first; the sea floor had finally stopped his descent. Now he could think of something that had bothered him since the surface had disappeared from his sight.
Why was he still alive?
He knew he was dead in the physical sense. The freezing seawater in his lungs along with the wood fragment pierced straight though his chest told him he was dead. But his mind was still active and his soul was still attached to his body. Two things that should not be possible if one was dead.
What is happening? Why am I still here? Jamie thought.
Jamie did not know how long he stayed on the seafloor wondering about his new existence. It could have been days or it could have been months. Without the sun dipping above and below the horizon line he couldn’t measure the passage of time. Even the occasional passing of sea creatures could not alleviate his boredom and annoyance for this purgatory in which he found himself. Crabs would crawl on his stiff body, out of curiosity, at what the sea had brought them. Poking their deft little claws into the crevices of his clothes and eating whatever debris they could find on Jamie’s body.
They strangely stayed away from the hole in his chest, almost as if it repelled them if they wandered too close. They spared his eyes, which made Jamie feel oddly grateful. Some crabs would climb up his body all the way to his face and simply look into his eyes. By now Jamie’s brown eyes had gone cloudy with death’s kiss and he had lost all movement in them, but he could still see out of them. So he could stare back into the little crustaceans stalked eyes, watching them right back. It made him feel like he wasn’t alone in the cold, dark depths.
He felt a change in the water one day when the crabs were walking on him. By now he was able to predict when the crabs would pass by him on their nightly journey to rich feeding grounds. Jamie had begun to resign himself to this strange undead life, thinking that he must have done something in life to deserve it. He now had bits of sea vegetation growing in his hair, swaying slowly with each change of the current. He would look like a monster from those old tales his father had told him about when he was little. The thought of his father made the frozen lump of muscle that was his heart lurch. Did his father mourn him when he realized that Jamie was never coming home? Was there a funeral procession with an empty coffin? Would his father wait in vain for something to come ashore for confirmation that Jamie was lost?
Thoughts of what was and what could have been swirled around his skull; Jamie could swear he felt the seawater in his body respond in kind. He could feel the water moving through the forgotten pathways of his blood vessels. He was so caught up in the thoughts of his father that he didn’t see the shark swim up to the side of his head.
Sharks weren’t uncommon at this depth and normally kept their distance from Jamie’s body, much to his delight. He would’ve hated to spend his undeath in the belly of a shark, unable to even see what was happening. But this shark didn’t seem to care about the actions its kin took to stay away from Jamie. Instead it slowly swam around Jamie, allowing him to see all of its large sleek form. When he was alive he used to be scared of sharks and was always uneasy when he spotted them following the ship. Now, after spending so long in the sea, his fear wasn’t so bad. But that didn’t mean it was gone.
As the shark continued to circle him, Jamie could do nothing but stare in silent horror. He could see the mouth full of jagged sharp teeth and the dark eyes looking at him. The eyes matched the dark waters around them both. Finally the shark slowed its moves, stopping right in front of Jamie’s face. As the two sea creatures stared at one another, the water grew colder around them both—impossibly cold. Jamie could see something forming behind the shark but the creature’s bulk blocked his view. He could hear light cracking and groaning, and he could feel the water moving around him.
What did this wretched thing bring to me!? Why can’t I see it!? What’s coming? What is that noise!?
The shark opened its mouth and Jamie heard something he hadn’t heard since before he died: a voice.
“Finally. You see me, don’t you.”
The voice from the shark was deep enough to rattle Jamie’s body. It was shocking to hear a human voice come from any inhuman thing, but to have that voice be deeper than his own made him feel even smaller.
“Yes, yes, you see and hear me. They are coming. To speak with you about a choice.”
The shark leveled its black gaze at Jamie, causing its nose to point directly where Jamie’s heart was. Jamie never thought of sharks as having emotions. But sharks weren’t supposed to talk with a voice deeper than his father’s, either. At this moment, the tone of the shark reminded Jamie of how his old school teachers used to talk to the students in order to get them to behave and be respectful.
“A choice with consequences heavier than you know. But I fear you would choose it, if only to be free of this stagnation.”
Jamie could only stare on in confusion at what the shark told him. Now more than ever he wished he could talk. If his tongue and vocal cords were still intact he would respond to this creature. But all he could do was stare and hope that the shark understood.
“There is no need for voice boy. I hear the water in your thoughts. They will too. Make the right choice, not the smart one.”
The shark nosed Jamie’s chest, and the act of rare compassion managed to push Jamie’s body backwards. Jamie watched the shark swim away quickly as he lay flat on his back now. It was a new vantage point that allowed him to look toward the surface. And sure enough, he could spot the mote of light that showed him were the sun was. It was still there. This whole time he could see nothing but the darkness, the rocky sea floor, and the crabs. But the sun hadn’t left him; it was just further away. It hadn’t abandoned him. His beating heart, his blood, and his living breath left him here to sit in the dark. But the sun, the warm constant symbol of his former life, remained right above him as it always had.
Jamie stared into that little mote of light so impossibly far way for as long as he could, until something moved in front of his vision. The water above his head shifted and moved as no natural ocean current should. He could hear it crashing and roaring right above him, giving him unpleasant memories of the night he died in that sea storm. In all his time in the depths, he did his best not to remember that night. No one likes a bad memory, especially when that memory shows exactly when you died.
Slowly a figure started to form from the rushing water, until it took the form of something only slightly humanoid. And Jamie wished more than anything in the world that he could look away from the sight before him.
Long spindly arms pierced with broken coral ended in a webbed hand with smooth, long claws. A slim human neck filled with too many gills opened and closed with each breath. But the face, at least where Jamie knew the face should be, was worse. A mouth that could not close was overly filled with needle-like teeth, and it grinned at Jamie’s horror. There was no nose, save for a dark sideways slit. And the eye—the eye took up most of the entity’s skull. Placed directly above the nose was an eye with a blue-green pupil surrounded by a milky white sclera. And that unnatural eye jutted from the skull of the entity, similar to the other fish Jamie had spotted swimming at this depth.
And Jamie screamed. And screamed and screamed. He screamed as much as he could with his unmoving dead body. Not a sound escaped his atrophied vocal cords, not a muscle moved on his sallow face. He could not close his eyes in terror at the thing in front of him. His mind rejected the body he saw and told him he was imagining it. But he could not ignore the way the water moved on his face as the gills on the creature breathed into his face.
He was forced to stare into its single large eye. He was forced to stare at this old forgotten god.
“It is nice to hear such screams from you,” the god spoke in a warbled voice. An old and raspy thing. And it set Jamie’s terror to a new high. It could talk to him. It was real. He would cry in fear if he could, but poor dead Jamie could only stare.
“Those screams can be put to use for me.”
The god picked up Jamie’s left arm, looking at it with blatant hunger. Its great eye focused back on Jamie’s eyes and its smile grew disgustingly wider as it heard Jamie’s mind scream in repulsion at being touched by this unholy thing.
And it laughed. A laugh that vibrated the water and rocks around them. A laugh that held nothing but a cruelty colder than the water. And it calmly placed Jamie’s hand between its many needle teeth. And swiftly removed Jamie’s left hand.
Jamie felt no pain at its removal, but that did not make its sudden loss any easier. No, quite the opposite—it made him angry. After all this time spent at the bottom of the ocean, Jamie had managed to keep his body intact. And this creature, in a few seconds, had just destroyed one of the few things Jamie had taken comfort in since his death. Now his screams were tinged with anger at the injustice of it all. He didn’t know why he kept his soul after he died, he didn’t know how he stayed sane for so long down in the depths. All of these questions he had no solutions for, and now he was being tormented by a grotesque god.
“I only need some sustenance. It has been too long since I’ve had a proper meal. Or a proper sacrifice. You have no use for these limbs other than to stoke your pride at having them remain. Many who I visit are not so lucky as you, so why should you be any different than them?”
The voice of the god betrayed no emotion, it was devoid of it. But it knew how to make Jamie’s mind shake in fear and rage. The god was cruel for no reason in Jamie’s mind. No reason other than to make Jamie equal to the others it had tormented previously.
What the hell do you want from me!? Leave me alone, you bastard!
These thoughts elicited another rattling laugh from the god. It laughed in the face of minuscule human rage. When its laugher died down again, it spoke. “Rage is good. I need it. And you will give it to me.”
Why the hell would I give you anything!?
“Because I can end your pathetic stagnation on this rocky cliff. So weak, so thoughtless, so uncurious about what your life is now. I would see that changed.”
What the fuck are you talking about!?
With that mentally uttered curse, the god grasped Jamie’s right arm, jerking him up and off the sea floor and right at eye level to the god. Jamie could hear his bones snapping in the water with the sudden movement.
“Speak such vulgarity again and I shall rip your arm from its socket. We will talk with respect or I will rip your soul to shreds. And those peddling crabs you are so fond of can finally do away with what is left of your body. Do you understand me, mortal?”
I understand.
Jamie hated how defenseless he was in this moment, being at the mercy of a forgotten sea god. But what other choice did he have? He could not move or speak. The great eye brought itself closer to Jamie’s face.
“Serve me and you will move again. Serve me and I will give you a voice again. You will not tire, you will not have hunger, and you will not be alone.”
It paused to let Jamie understand the weight of the words spoken, to allow him to understand what was being offered.
“By serving me you are freed from this existence on the sea floor. By serving me you will taste the air again. And… you will see the sun.”
Jamie heard nothing but the promises of his past life. This god offered him a chance on the surface again. And Jamie hated the way such trivial things he hadn’t valued in life were now dangled in front of him. Jamie saw himself as no better than a starving dog slavering after a bone with too few meat scraps. But he wouldn’t accept blindly; he had a few questions.
Why me?
“Because you are dead and your soul refused the land God’s empty promise of a heaven. You are claimed by sea, a sailor of the vicious blue. You would have died on my water at some point. You are not special or unique. You are simply one of a small but necessary few.”
It shocked Jamie hearing this god speak such blasphemy at God. But it also confirmed a small dark fear in Jamie. That he was in fact rejected from heaven. But why? The great eye stared into Jamie as its words swirled inside his mind.
“Ask your questions, mortal. I have eternity to waste, you do not. Your body will be devoured by the bottom dwellers soon enough. Those crabs you love were only waiting until I chose to visit you. Should you reject what I offer, those crabs and sharks and worms will strip all flesh from your bones, leaving nothing but a soul still tied to bleached bones.”
If I serve you, what happens to me? What will I do in your service?
“I told you; you will move again. You will have a body reformed anew. You will go where I wish you to go and do what I tell you to do. You will be changed, yes. But you will be free from the sea floor. Is that not what you want?”
The god cocked its head to the side when it spoke the question. But its neck bent too far at an unnatural angle, reminding Jamie how inhuman this god looked.
“I care not for human appearance; it is too limiting. It would not survive the pressure of the true depths. This form pleases me and serves me well.”
Despite its words the god returned its head to a more natural angle. A ridiculously small concession for Jamie’s sake. The wide jagged smile never left its face the whole time it talked to Jamie. Almost as if it were frozen in place.
“What is your decision, mortal? Will you serve me or will you serve as food for the creatures of the deep?”
There were few options available for Jamie to choose. And one clearly sounded more pleasant than the other. And if it all meant that Jamie could see the sun again…
I will serve you.
The second those words were spoken in Jamie’s mind, the god’s smile stretched all the way to the edges of its single large eye. The gills flared in response and its eye glowed with a deeper blue hue.
“Good, good. You made the right choice. This pleases me. You are not like those simpering followers of the land God convinced of their eternal damnation. You think for yourself and not by words in flimsy scriptures. I accept your service. I do hope you enjoy it; I know I shall.”
Jamie panicked at those final words. What did the god mean by that?
“I will give you a few weeks to acclimate to your new body. After that you will serve me with no questions asked and with no failure allowed.”
The god leaned in closely one final time. It was close enough to touch the slit of its nose to Jamie’s forehead, and it spoke in some language that to Jamie’s ears sounded like dolphin chittering mixed with thunder from a storm. With what Jamie assumed to be the last line, the god released his arm in a motion that threw him towards the surface. And the god’s laughter echoed after him as he left the sea floor.
Jamie was shooting up to the surface. Flying through the cold water, Jamie was starting to get feeling in his body again. And he was glad for a moment at being able to feel anything again. Until feeling went back to his removed left hand, and then he was screaming in pain on his journey back toward the surface. And then the pain got worse, increasing with each passing second. Until his whole body was frozen in a rictus of pain. His mind went blind with the pain—it was all he could feel. So he did not notice when his body started to fade away. Bit by bit, limb by limb, Jamie’s body faded into a thick, shimmery gray mist. And when he finally reached the surface, nothing remained of Jamie’s body; he was now a cloud of mist. All that was left of the old Jamie was the soul.
But his journey did not stop there. He kept going further into the sky, reaching a height that made him miss the solid presence of the deep-sea water. When he reached the apex of his ascent, Jamie could see the sun again. Even without a physical body anymore, he could feel the sun’s warmth. He enjoyed that brief respite from the darkness of the deep sea.
And then his body began to change again.
He could feel his body gaining density. And the air around him grew heavy. Dark clouds began to form around Jamie’s new form, and he could hear the heavy air thunder around him. Jamie watched in fascination as he became a great storm cloud. Lightning arced sporadically from his cloud. Jamie was so happy to be free, to be freer than any living human could be.
Until the implications of what he now was set in. He was a sea storm. A force of nature that all sailors feared. A storm that claimed the lives of countless sailors. And he was now one of those storms. A sea storm in service to a sea god, forced to drown and kill sailors. And his soul cried in anger at what he now had to do for the rest of his life.
At least until the sea god grew bored with him or found a better replacement.